Pregnancy Uncensored

Oh the exciting fun of 9 months of pregnancy…

Exciting, eye opening, tiresome, exhausting, painful, but magical.

We all talk about how amazing it is to be pregnant and how wonderful our bodies must be that we can even carry this tiny human in our wombs. I mean your body can grow a whole organ for a baby, the placenta is fully created by mummy and her magical body.

Sorry dad’s but mum’s overall get the credit for this one I’m afraid.

So how often do we read about the untold version of pregnancy? The part everyone thinks is too shocking for public view. Barely ever. But why not, why not know the whole truth about how pregnancy is and feels, because regardless of the bad bits, you’ll never experience anything like it in your life and well pregnancy can be hilarious at times.

First Trimester (0-3 months pregnant)

Who else knew straight away that they were pregnant? I didn’t. Heck no. I was completely oblivious. Actually I spent a week in debate with my fiance Michael that I wasn’t, until the following week we decided to just do a test, Monday evening to be exact. Just to add, it’s far better to test in the morning (says the professionals anyway) but for the purpose of this I was waiting for Michael to come in from work. He was in the door five minutes before my smug ass wanders off to the toilet to pee on the damn stick, knowing fine well I wasn’t pregnant. Well reality check Gemma, you were, you know, pregnant. Joke was on me this time round. So Tuesday, and 8 pregnancy piss sticks later, I finally accepted the fact that Mr Know It All was in fact right. Once again. Knowing I would never live this down the whole pregnancy, that he was right and I was wrong, I knew I was in for a tough time.

But if I’m honest I still had no idea I was even pregnant, nothing felt different. Not a single thing. 

First hospital visit

At 6 weeks pregnant, we had our first hospital visit with baby. The dreaded fear of spotting whilst pregnant (bleeding). Let me tell you this, there’s nothing scarier than waiting to hear a babies heartbeat, when your worst fear is that something was wrong. But clear as day, our little smudge was rolling around in there happy and healthy and mummy was just being a paranoid wreck. I say smudge, it was really just a tiny little dot on the screen, and if I’m being honest I had no idea what I was looking at but nodded when the sonographer (person doing the scan) asked if I could see baby. Like, yeah I know exactly what I’m looking at, NOT. Any first timers reading this, there’s a lot more paranoid wreck moments of pregnancy, and to make it worse, the paranoid moments don’t end once you’ve FINALLY pushed out that watermelon, it only gets worse from here I’m afraid. So good luck if this is your first, I wish you the best pregnancy ever. Anyway, I was informed of a slight internal bleed and ordered to go home and rest until our first scan at 12 weeks where we would see baby better.

“Taking it easy”

Between 6 weeks and 12 weeks, I can’t say I listened to the whole “take it easy” statement, because well, I was in the middle of packing to move house and unfortunately I don’t have a bunch of magic fairy’s to do it for me. Shocking that, imagine having to do all the work by yourself. Sorry midwife but some of us have things to crack on with. However, I didn’t over do it, I took plenty of rest breaks and had Michael doing all the heavy lifting. So in my eyes I was taking it easy. 

You will NEVER listen to anyone that tells you to take it easy. But take my advice. Listen. I’m just too stubborn.

First Scan

The 12 week scan approached and every emotion hit me at once, this happens a lot by the way. I didn’t know if I wanted to run out screaming, burst out in tears, smile from ear to ear, throw up everywhere or if I just needed a poo. Still unknown cause none of the above actually happened. But I swear at the time it felt like it was going to. Before anyone cringes at needing a poo, if your pregnant, you will never be able to tell the difference between needing to poo, or if your baby’s just having a right little party in there. And well if you can’t cope reading about poo, then mama, you’re gonna get one heck of a shock when your baby pops out, pooping like their little life depends on it. 

Never the less, there I was, jeans half way off my backside, lying on the hospital bed ready to have my stomach completely covered in lube, because half a tube is absolutely necessary to know where the baby is. Just to add, it’s usually a myth that the lube, I shouldn’t say lube, the jelly that they use is cold, because actually most of the time it’s heated to make mummy more at ease. Won’t lie though, I’ve had some grumpy ass midwife’s that don’t really give a toss, so good luck with that one. But whether it’s cold or warm it’s still not pleasant being covered in LUBE.  However the result of seeing your little bundle in your belly, well that just makes it all worth it. There baby was, kicking up a stink and wouldn’t sit still. Can’t say I was surprised, I’ve got a 3 year old that has no idea how to sit still for longer than 0.5 seconds, so why should I get it any easier from the second baby? Exactly, I shouldn’t. But there we are, happy and healthy baby and it was time to be stabbed with every needle that the Midwife had access too.

Between bloods and injections I just feel like a walking pin cushion. 

Overall

That pretty much sums up the first trimester to be honest, for first time parents it’s usually the most exciting stage, but for second timers it’s just another day really. Like I say, I barely even noticed. Regardless, it’s still magical, no matter how many babies you’ve had. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you though, it would be enjoy every moment. Pregnancy might seem like it lasts forever but it doesn’t, and you will miss carrying that little baby in your belly. There’s nothing like holding them in your arms, but having two hearts beat inside you is a feeling like no other. That bond will never be broken. Enjoy every minute like it was your last.

Second Trimester (3 – 6 months)

This is where it gets real. Reality sets in and believe me, now you’ll know your pregnant. Whether it’s the extra inches round your waist or the amount of food you can consume in one sitting.

From 12 weeks you won’t really see any midwife’s or health professionals much, until around 22 weeks when you’ll have your next check up at the midwife clinic. Or you’ll be visiting the nurse to have your whooping cough vaccine. 

At this point I knew I was pregnant, I was hungry, ALL the time. But before I go any further, I’m a foody and I like to eat. So consuming this much food even shocked me. I’ve never been a breakfast person, but I started eating breakfast, and lunch, and dinner. Usually I’d only eat two of those if your lucky. But to top it off, I was even having a supper, like sandwiches or sweets. Or chocolate because that became the new favourite. For anyone that knows me, knows I barely eat chocolate, I’m a crisp person, but I was packing chocolate away like I was going to die tomorrow.

Here comes turning into a walking whale who can barely see her own feet over the belly I was gradually increasing. 

Toilet, or should I say Tena Lady

For anyone that is squeamish, tune out now, because you may not want to read about this part of pregnancy. But let me tell you, it happens regardless if you want to read about it or not.

Another thing that has now became very apparent to me, is that I can no longer laugh, sneeze or even cough without piss dribbling out of me. Yes you read that correctly, I pee myself, just a little. Or a lot if I’m running from bed trying to reach the loo in time, then yes at that time it’s more than a little. But can you also bare in mind I am now on my second pregnancy so my bladder control is slim to none. Don’t worry I don’t need nappies. But thank the lord for Tena Lady’s. If there’s one thing I can assure you of, you will give your partners a right laugh. Michael thinks it’s hilarious every time I “dribble” because he knows for the rest of my days with this lovely human being he gets to remind me that I’m “pishy pants”. It’s fantastic. I’ll be sure to remind him of this the next time he comes in slaughtered and doesn’t know where the toilet is or even how use to it. So go on Michael, laugh it up just now, because I can assure you that I will repay the favour at some point. 

Now reality has set in. I can feel my little smudge moving around inside me. Barely, but I know it’s happening. Most likely because I know what I’m feeling for, having done this before not too long ago. Some woman say they can’t tell if baby’s moving or if they just need to poo, which is true, it’s very hard to tell between them both. You’re probably thinking this woman is obsessed with poo, and I can assure you I’m not. However, SPOILER ALERT, you’re better getting used to poo now than when your little one comes out and leaves a big lump of tar in their nappy for your first dirty nappy. Enjoy parents. Or should I say mum’s because if your men are anything like my man, he runs a mile at the smell of a dirty nappy. 

Enough with the poo talk for a bit, it’s putting me off my spicy nik nak’s.

Anomaly Scan

At around 19 – 20 weeks you should be getting your anomaly scan, for those of you that don’t know what I mean by this, it’s the gender scan. I know some people wish to keep it a secret and find out when baby arrives. But that’s not me. I don’t do surprises. I wanna buy pink or blue. But as you’ve probably guessed by the logo on my blog, I have been blessed with another BOY! Excited would be an understatement. I won’t lie however, we were hoping for a girl, I mean who doesn’t wish for one of each, but my baby’s happy and healthy and that’s all we could really ask for. I spent over an hour getting my gender scan because the Midwife couldn’t see a thing because of how low down in my pelvis he was hiding, so she left the room to get another Midwife to assist. Panic set in, so I decided to get up off the bed and start jumping up and down, without peeing myself, to try and get him to move out of my pelvis so the Midwife could fully check him. Issue was, they couldn’t find the bottom of his spine, talk about panic overload. Relief however, as the other Midwife walks in and confirms she can see everything and he was in fact a little boy. Panic over, and happy campers ready to head home and spread the good news. Phew.

But the one thing no one talks about, how blooming hard the Midwife’s like to push down on you for an examination. Like they really don’t give a toss about that full bottle of Irn Bru you demolished on the way in and the fact that that very same bottle of Irn Bru, is about to pass through onto the examination table. Now I feel like I could use a nappy, a big one. Quick, bathroom trip now.

Sickness

DO NOT be fooled when everyone calls it “morning sickness”. It is not and never will be, morning sickness, It’s ALL damn day. Even worse to be me right now. I have this brutal cough and every time it catches me, BOOM, sick right down myself. You have no idea the inconvenience this causes, several outfit changes, my favourite PJ’s constantly being in the wash. It’s bloody murder. But hey, at least Michael can find a funny side, cause that’s what he’s good at, lil’ bugger. The worst part of sickness this pregnancy for me, has been toothpaste. Yes you read that right, toothpaste. The taste, the smell, absolutely everything about it makes me gag. So you can understand my frustration when I brush my teeth in the morning then throw up right after it, defeats the bloody purpose of brushing my teeth. However, tip to this, mouthwash became my best friend. It helped so much with the sickness, mouthwash and then brush my teeth, and success, successfully brushed teeth without throwing up.

Bath Time

Okay so bath time, now that’s a good one. Have you tried to have a bath with a gigantic baby bump? Well if you haven’t here’s something you should know. You can NEVER fully cover that baby belly. No matter how full you fill that bath, there’s more chance of flooding the bathroom than having a nice cozy belly in the bath. Actually there was one night I purposely decided to lie on my front just to enjoy a warm belly for a few minutes, but with that came at a cost of a cold backside. Short lived that was. What I should mention however is the aftermath of bath time, some may get this, some may not. But for the ones that do, over heating. Yes. The horrible feeling of coming out the bath absolutely roasting hot rather than feeling the cold air and want to put cozy PJ’s on, you’d much rather strut around butt naked just to cool off. Every single window open possible and feeling like you’re being suffocated by heat and if you’re fortunate enough to have a great other half, then like me, you’ll have someone to fan you off. But none the less, bath time is still so relaxing and comforting when you’re pregnant. I do however recommend bath salts, or fruity bath bombs because they are simply the best. Better than all the rest.

I sincerely hope someone understands that last line.

Cravings

Dare I say more. If I thought I was hitting the whale stage before, I was about to get a shock.

• Salt and vinegar bloody pringles, I couldn’t get enough of them. I was buying them in bulk and that’s not even a joke.

Short lived though, it wasn’t long before baby got a little more adventurous.

• On came the chocolate. But not just any chocolate, Cadbury’s Caramel share bar, ha share bar. Okay then Cadbury’s, it’s not a share bar if your pregnant, let me tell you that. I’m sure there’s at least another 100 people out there that would agree with me.

But this craving was different to any I’ve had before, just to add with my first pregnancy I spent the whole pregnancy crunching cubes of ice, so nothings that strange to me anymore. I actually got angry when I didn’t have chocolate. Specifically Cadbury’s caramel. To which Michael to would go to the shop just to get me to calm the hell down, swear I’ve never felt anything like it. I’m laughing right now because I’m writing all this as a bar of Cadbury’s caramel is sat right next to me, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little tempted to tear it open just now. 

• Primula ham and cheese spread sandwiches. OMG they are just delicious. I’m obsessed.  

I can’t say this craving bothered me that much, I just enjoyed them at my leisure and didn’t over kill it. So win win on this one. And it wasn’t an overly fatty craving to have.

• Koka instant chicken noodles. Now for anyone that hasn’t tried these, I strongly suggest you do. In my opinion they are way better than super noodles, which no matter how I cook them, come out stodgy and quite frankly revolting.

However if you have any tips on cooking super noodles please leave me a comment below, I’d be grateful.

But this is currently the end of my cravings, so far anyway.

Washing Dishes

Want to know something very frustrating about pregnancy when you have eventually started to show? Washing dishes. Why you ask? Because no matter how careful I try to be, my stomach is drenched by the time I’m finished, because the bump just gets in the road, ALL OF THE TIME. In one sense you could look at it as killing two birds with one stone, dishes washed and belly washed. That saves me a good 10 minutes in the bath later. 

I’m totally kidding before anyone takes that seriously.

Emotional Roller Coasters

The one part that everyone knows about, whether you’re a mum or a dad. Sorry Dad’s but you get the bad end of this bargain. The emotional break downs over simple things like flicking the switch on the kettle for the fifth time that morning, not realizing that it’s turned off at the wall. BOOM. Emotional breakdown. And the Dad’s, well they have to deal with it all and are forbidden from saying a bad thing about it, because well, pregnancy hormones are something like no other. So grab your tissues mama’s cause the tears and rage out bursts are only just beginning. But you got this, it’s only hormones, not the end of the world.

Third Trimester (6-9 months)

I have now officially lost sight of everything below my waist. Both my feet and lady parts have become a distant memory, fantastic. See you both again in 11-12 weeks, if I remember what you look like. Another lovely joy of motherhood, not being able to see your feet. Or when you eventually put your feet up and you can see them, they’re bulbous like they are ready to burst. I have genuinely gotten to the stage where I have forgotten what my feet looked like before swelling. Only 2 and a half months till I see them again, hopefully, if baby isn’t too stubborn and comfy in my uterus. So girls, take pictures of your feet if you want to remember them because it won’t be long before they are hidden underneath so much fluid from the perfect little human you are carrying inside you.

Can’t imagine any of you are going to take pictures of your feet, but if you’re into that, I’m not judging..

Finishing off on 28 weeks

Well this is as far as my second pregnancy blog goes as I currently have nothing more exciting to tell. I turn 29 weeks next week and I’m sure I’ll have more to share with you all come the end of this pregnancy. 

So stay tuned for more to come if you enjoyed this read, which I sincerely hope you did.